I have been working on Edna's second book the last three months. Mainly research, but also writing it too. It has not been easy, since I always been a loner (with language issues since childhood) and I never fit in the writing circles, or any circle for that matter.
And except for the great fans who have continued to stay in contact with Edna over the years (and I am very, very, grateful to all of you who have written in or just visited quietly), I find the general silent film community a bit too close knit, to easily get to know.
But that is partly me too, for I always been very shy and reserved since childhood. The writing ties right into that, being it is not easy for me.
People are very quick to judge, but very slow to understand.
But I found some great friends who do understand, so will always be grateful to them.
I found the first group I met in the UK excellent (warm and welcoming). But I felt a coldest from others over the years, to the point of someone involved with one well-known US group, told me to not come to their event, saying I wouldn't enjoy it. (I have a witness to back me up.)
It is no wonder why I don't feel like I fit in or feel welcome.
I have many issues to write about in this book, and finding information I have requested not coming in, and/or in some cases, I will most likely have to travel to find. Plus (while of no real interest to any of my readers, but only add because it slows down the project) a growing personal health issue, that is not going to go away. It is causing real problems in just doing normal things, but I can work around it at home, but not so much way.
While the health thing is just a side issue I have to deal with, the main issue is the writing. Many more personal things about Edna in this book I have to sort out.
One exercise I learned in college was an assignment where you had to write openly about yourself and things you saw in detail. It was excellent exercise, because we had to write openly about ourselves, than we had to find someone else to write about into a biography piece. We had to share it with the class.
It was very tough, especially if you have always been shy and reserve, but I can't be that way with this book. And I have to write with equal ease to men and women. I have the practice of throwing all my first thoughts out there and going back and piece by piece, re-writing, until it says clearly what I want to say.
Well, I had a chance to do it recently, on a private bases, with people I know, trust and actually met.
I don't know, but while working on it, I suddenly decided to remove all of it.
Writing about oneself is difficult, but important, if you are going to be honest about who you are writing about. And that is what I want to do with Edna's book. I just have to get over the roadblock, which is me. The rest you just deal with.
If you can't write honestly about yourself, you will never write honestly about anyone else.
Added note: I removed a post I had in here about me being related to Edna. It is true, I have learned, that we are cousins, but felt this news may not be of interest to the readers of this blog, and may only be of interest to the people who actually know me, since it is more on a personal nature than a public one.
And again, thanks very much to all the visitors regular and new! We are eying another milestone that could be broken in the not too far future.
Update March 19, 2009 - Just like to thank all the new fans who have bought The Sea Gull lately! Thanks ever so much!
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